Should Hewhocorrupts Inc. Sue Careerbuilder.com?

Is corporate America finally running out of ideas? Have the so-called "Marketing Experts" at the big firms finally figured out that the intarwebs is the best source of ideas as opposed to 4 years learning about trends and charts at an Ivy League American college? One thing's for sure: Hewhocorrupts Inc. wins this one based on originality. You decide.

Careerbuilder.com Superbowl 2009 commercial:



Hewhocorrupts: Master of Profits:

The Baconaut

I would love to try this motherload of meaty goodness known as the Bacon Explosion. If I were to die of a heart attack while eating this, it will be well worth the effort.

Lil' Wayne Likes Cynic?

Cynic: Veil of Maya (live at Hoevifestivalen, Norway, 2007)


Lil' Wayne: Prom Queen

Balloons=Metal

Nena-99 Luftballoons


Iron Maiden-The Wicker Man

Bacon's Top 10 Albums of 2008

Aaaah, it's 2009 according to the Gregorian calendar but according to the Russian Orthodox calendar, it's still Christmas. So that's a quick cop out for being so late with coming up with a list. Anyhoo, here are my top 10 albums of 2008:

1. Nachtmystium-Assassins: Black Meddle Part 1

Definitely the most adventurous release of the year. If the members of Pink Floyd, Tangerine Dream, Hawkwind, Bathory and Ulver did an all night jam session, this would be the fine product, covered in hash smoke and colorful lights.

2. Disfear-Live the Storm

The punkest release of the year. And this band has two of Death Metal's OG's, Tomas Lindberg of At The Gates and Uffe Cederlund, formerly of Entombed. Think Motorhead on steroids.

3. Coffins-Buried Death

Death Metal these days is all about how much your BPM is and how many time signatures can be applied to a song, coupled by clean production polished by Pro Tools. Coffins from Japan doesn't give a shit about that. They put on the back to basics old school Death Metal, pure evil riffage, and what's important the most: putting the death back in Death Metal.

4. Trinacria-Travel Now, Journey Infinitely

A total mind fuck of an band, Trinacria sounds like Vikings who stumbled upon an icy grave, only to be cryogenically thawed a thousand years later in the year 2008. Vikings who then later discovered how to use synthesizers and distortion pedals along with the electric guitar and percussion sections. Features members of Norwegian noise muses Fe-Mail and Viking Metal vets Enslaved.

5. The Gates of Slumber-Conqueror

One of the most overlooked albums of the year, Conqueror is a concept album that recalls Conan the Barbarian and Kull the Conqueror's epic storylines mixed with very thundering riffage inspired by Manilla Road and Cirith Ungol.

6. Torche-Meanderthal

Torche never ceases to impress me. They can be really massively heavy while being able to harmonize and concoct those catchy riffs. If stoners smoked weed and ate a lot of cotton candy, this might be the end result.

7. Boris-Smile

Boris are definitely the torch bearers of psychelic doom-tinged Experimental Metal from Japan. "My Neighbor Satan" is my favorite song title of the year, and this album is a weird mix of punk and colorful doom pyschedelia.

8. Enslaved-Vertebrae

Enslaved manages to make albums that don't sound alike, and do it in a very impressive way. The perfect soundtrack to watching the Northern Lights while enjoying some Mead in Bergen, Norway.

9. Plague Bringer-Life Songs in a Land of Death

Grindcore has always been either politically correct or just obscenely gross. Plague Bringer brings down all those conventions with Grindcore that comes from the heart. A digital testimony against the continued digitalization of the human existence.

10. Toxic Holocaust-An Overdose of Death

Thrash got so milked out really dry in 2008. So many bands are trying to sound like Exodus or Testament did back in 1987. Toxic Holocaust started the Thrash throwback in 1999 though, back when these bands were either still grade school or playing in nu metal cover bands. Toxic upends these young upstarts with a blackened Thrash attack that can make Hellhammer and Sodom proud.

Check out these wonderful albums if you haven't yet. Looking forward to a great year with more great Metal to come!

Spend The Holidays With Sweaty, Half Naked Dudes

I went to see "The Wrestler" on Xmas day. After seeing it, it's definitely high up in my top films of 2008. Go see it. It's more than worth it and the performances by Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei are nothing short of spectactular.

Since I Have Nothing Better To Do On Company Time...

You know you are from Chicago when:

You - correctly - don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois.
You become irate at people who do.
You measure distance in minutes.
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines".
Your school classes were canceled because of excessive cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of excessive heat.
You've even had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."
You can locate Illinois on the United States map.
Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is at least twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.
You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked.
When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different."
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what the numbers I-80, 55, and 90 mean.
You realize that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.
You refer to any interstate highway as "the Tollway" or else "the expressway."
You know the given names of the interstates, i.e.: Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan.
You refer to anything south of I-80 as "Southern Illinois".
You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake".
You refer to Chicago as "The City".
No matter where you are, when you hear the term "Downtown" you immediately assume they are talking about Downtown Chicago.
You find yourself referring to the central business district of any city you happen to be in as "The Loop."
You have two favorite football teams: The Bears and anyone who beats the Green Bay Packers.
A brawl over which Chicago baseball team is better breaks out every year at your neighborhood block party
Even though you live 3 hours south, you still buy "The Trib."
You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog.
You know what Chicago Style Pizza is -- and feel pity for those that don't, and with good reason!
You know why they call Chicago "the Windy City".
You understand what "lake-effect" means.
You know the difference between Amtrack and Metra, and know which station they end up at.
You have ridden an "L" (elevated train).

Best Metal Videos Of 2008

I hardly watch music videos these days, but thanks to Youtube and people's reccomendations, here are my top 5 most Metal videos of 2008:

By the way, videos are not a substitute to seeing these awesome bands live.

Get it?

Lair of the Minotaur-War Metal Battlemaster
What makes it so Metal: warriors, weapons, naked zombie girls



Amon Amarth-Twilight of the Thundergod
What makes it so Metal: vikings, epic sea voyages, lots of fire



Enslaved-The Watcher
What makes it so Metal: epic Viking themes, tall cliffs, evil mist



Toxic Holocaust-Wild Dogs
What makes it so Metal: toxic waste, abandoned nuclear warehouse, post apocalyptic feel



Municipal Waste-Sadistic Magician
What makes it Metal: explosions, corrossive chemicals, camp 80's movie references

Kuma's Doom Fest

Everyone's favorite Chicago Metal burger place, Kuma's Corner, is having the 1st ever Kuma's Doom Fest in 2 weeks! This will benefit a number of charities so it's more than a good reason to go bang your head to the heaviest Chicago Metal show of the year.

Metal Shows To Go: December 2008

Every month, I will be posting shows that I plan to attend during the course of that particular month. I hope to see you Chicago metalbangers out there!!!

12/05/08 Gates of Slumber, Demiricous The Horde, The Muzzler @ Metal Shaker
12/06/08 Bible of the Devil, Imperial Battlesnake, Bloodcow, Midnight @ Cobra Lounge FREE
12/13/08 Hewhocorrupts Inc. Holiday Party feat. Sweet Cobra, Hewhocorrupts, Brokedowns, Canadian Rifle @ Mutiny FREE
12/20/08 Kuma's Fest feat. Kongh, Samothrace, Indian, Ol' Scratch, Minsk, Beneath Oblivion, Rue, Ganon, Rabid Rabbit, Drug Honkey @ Double Door
12/27/08 Holidays of Horror 2008 feat. Macabre, Cianide, Elfvis, Spare Change @ Empty Bottle

Previous Melvins Poster

Here is an official poster I did for the Melvins/Big Business show at Reggie's last Nov. 20th. After years of getting screwed over of not getting to see the Melvins live, I was offered a chance to design a poster and that was my ticket to finally seeing these legends live, and they didn't dissapoint. In celebration of this milestone, I'm having a free download of the poster available. It's a hi-res 11x17 JPEG so if you want to download it and print it for your wall, go right ahead, just right click and save. Hope everyone had a great Turkey weekend!

Monday Monster Mania

Tonight, I shall be go attend a screening of a Swedish vampire film called "Let The Right One In". I've read a lot of good reviews for this film and I am going on a limb to say that this is definitely be way more worthwile to watch than that other vampire movie that came out, Twilight. Besides, Swedes by default can make any horror film grimmer and more frostbitten.



On another note, Indian versions of American music videos are a fucked up mix of uber cheesiness and WTFology. Their version of Michael Jackson's thriller looks like a vision of some dude who was watching that on Indian MTV while on shrooms.

Bacon And Blastbeats Proudly Endorses Barack Obama For President

After 8 disastrous years with George W. Bush, I think it is time for a change in the nation.

Go forth and vote tomorrow!!!

Is It May 2009 Yet???

This is quite possibly THE BEST Maryland Deathfest lineup EVER.

I shall be in Baltimore during this awesome weekend.

Black Metal Beds

Will my Black Metal bed have spikes and torches on the bedposts? I want one!!!!

Dear Ed Hardy & Affliction...

Please die. I hate your "I try to look like I know how to rawk even though I don't" clothes and the the douchebags who wear them. Why should I pay $100 for your stupid ass shirts? I can screen print a better looking shirt than your overpriced poser uniforms. Die. NOW.

Coffee Is Metal Thrashing Mad

Gonna be at this show at the Coffee Pot next Thursday. It's gonna be nuts.

There's Really No Such Thing...

...as too much SLAYER.

Heavy Metal In Baghdad

Last night, me and a couple of friends attended a free screening of Heavy Metal In Baghdad at the Metro. It was filmed and financed by Vice Magazine. The documentary is about Accrasicauda, Iraq's only heavy metal band. Vice spent a few days with the band, filming their day to day lives and the hardships of being in a heavy metal band in post-Saddam Iraq. Anger, hatred, frustration and despair barely describe the predicament of these guys. This is a real eye opener and a must see for any metal fan.

She's Gonna Tear Your Mind Up, Will Rip Your Soul

Would you elect this beast to be the VP of this country? I sure hope not.