Since I Have Nothing Better To Do On Company Time...

You know you are from Chicago when:

You - correctly - don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois.
You become irate at people who do.
You measure distance in minutes.
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines".
Your school classes were canceled because of excessive cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of excessive heat.
You've even had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."
You can locate Illinois on the United States map.
Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is at least twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.
You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked.
When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different."
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what the numbers I-80, 55, and 90 mean.
You realize that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.
You refer to any interstate highway as "the Tollway" or else "the expressway."
You know the given names of the interstates, i.e.: Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan.
You refer to anything south of I-80 as "Southern Illinois".
You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake".
You refer to Chicago as "The City".
No matter where you are, when you hear the term "Downtown" you immediately assume they are talking about Downtown Chicago.
You find yourself referring to the central business district of any city you happen to be in as "The Loop."
You have two favorite football teams: The Bears and anyone who beats the Green Bay Packers.
A brawl over which Chicago baseball team is better breaks out every year at your neighborhood block party
Even though you live 3 hours south, you still buy "The Trib."
You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog.
You know what Chicago Style Pizza is -- and feel pity for those that don't, and with good reason!
You know why they call Chicago "the Windy City".
You understand what "lake-effect" means.
You know the difference between Amtrack and Metra, and know which station they end up at.
You have ridden an "L" (elevated train).